Your thought is like a filter that you use to interpret and give meaning to everything that happens to you, and those interpretations of your reality will exert a major influence on your emotions, making you feel one way or another. That is your thinking that determines whether, after a given event, you will feel intense and uncontrolled anger or conversely, simply feel discomfort or moderate and controllable anger.
Change does not mean to take out the negative thoughts out of your mind or turn depression into happiness or anger into love. If you have a reason to be sad, to be angry, to be nervous, you should feel those emotions and not try to use your thinking to make them disappear and replace falsely with opposite, because that is nothing but a self-deception that eventually will harm, probably in the form of physical symptoms.
You can use your thoughts to modulate the intensity of your emotions. That is, instead of feeling that anxiety so intensely when you have to do something you fear, you can just feel some discomfort or nervousness; instead of feeling anger that pushes you to yell and argue; you can feel healthier and less intense anger that allows you to maintain control and talk about what happened calmly; instead of collapsing into a deep sadness that you do not want to get out of bed anymore, you can feel a moderate sadness that you do not block it and it will help you to see clearly what is wrong in your life and seek solutions.
Feeling negative emotions is normal and you should not pretend to make them disappear, but when those negative emotions are too intense and cause us to lose control, block your thinking and behavior.
When you use a logical, rational and constructive thought, your emotions, even if they are negative, they are healthy and appropriate instead of being extreme and uncontrolled. Hence, the importance of knowing how to properly use your mind without making errors of thought and hasty conclusions maximize rationalization.
Using Your Thinking Constructively
Be aware of what you’re thinking. The thought is often generated automatically based on thought patterns created many years ago we used to interpret what happens to us quickly and automatically. Unfortunately, sometimes those schemes are wrong and we must change them to make them more realistic and healthy. Therefore, the first step is to know what goes through your mind every time is an exaggerated reaction or inappropriate way instead of letting it an automatic thought and largely unconscious to decide for you.
Once you are clear about what you think and how your thinking has led you to feel that exaggerated emotion or have that reaction or unwanted behavior, challenge your thinking to make it more logical and rational. As you go doing this quite often, you will discover certain patterns of harmful and irrational thinking which can create many problems and you begin to exchange them for more constructive thoughts. With time and practice, your new way of thinking will gain strength to become dominant.